ok here i am, posting after abt..nearly 1 mth?
aiya if SOME ppl didnt push me to post i wldnt =x jkjk
for the past few weeks i haven been posting becoz i didnt noe wad to post abt -.-
boring life during the holidays.
wake up, eat, slp, use com, do hw, den slp.
wads there to post abt? lol
anyways,
i have been getting irritated by some things tts y im here to post wad i feel so tt i cld clear things up a little.
1st things first, those hu have seen my msn nick recently, u guys shld noe wad im gonna tok abt.
not tt i wanna put tt nick one, its just tt i have been forced to -.-
tts y u see me changing my nick sometimes ,to somethin else besides somethin related to the topic i hate most.(BGR)
but even though i change my nick, SOME ppl(jerks) just continue to annoy me.
i dun wanna mention names ya?
coz i noe jerks have feelings too.
so i TRY to make this as less hurtful as possible.

Whats up wif tt nick man? -.-
how many times have i told u to LET GO.
its been like, nearly...5 years!!
5 years u noe!
=.=
sure u say u wanna wait and such.
but pls use ur brain.
wad u have been doin is annoying me.
and when u annoy me, its not gonna be pretty.
it aint any fairytale or drama.
i CAN tolerate wad ure doin and i CURRENTLY AM.
tts y im ignoring every single nick uve been puting.
but unfortunately some nicks i cannot ignore coz these nicks are the ones i have been EMPHASISING on for u NOT to put it.
i dun mind u feeling tt way abt me.
but if ure just putting nicks just to let me noe how u feel,
lemme tell u this.
BEEN THERE, DONE TT.
even if u put a million nicks wif the same intention, the results wld not change at all =.=
it seriously irritates and hurts me to see tt im ACTUALLY hurting someone without doin anything =.=
sure u wanna get me bak, but pls tink abt wad u have DONE to accomplish this =.=
1. u LIED to me.
and tt causes me to start avoiding u.
how can i trust u to even BE my fren if u LIED to me.
sure ,i blocked ur old msn acc after quarreling wif u.
i onli intended to block u for a short while BUT wad did u do?
u put ur nick like ure not gona come on9 anymore and its the end of the world for u in ur old msn acc.
and after tt?
u made a NEW msn acc and added me.
looking at the email and nick i alreadi KNEW its u.
im alreadi kind enuff to accept u into my list but wad did u do?
u lied to me by saying ure LUCY =.=
by doin tt ure actually telling me tt im so STUPID and SENILE tt i wld start buying ur stories. =.=
have u even tot abt how i FELT for the past few mths and yrs u have been doin this? =.=
i felt GUILTY, IRRESPONSIBLE and like a CRIMINAL.
u tink ure the onli one getting hurt?
tink again.
i said tt i wldnt giv u chance to do so(u noe wad i mean).
tt is becoz i do not wan BOTH of us or ANYONE involved to be emotionally HURT.
i told u to use ur brain.
tts becoz i wan u to THINK abt wad u have been DOING and THINK abt how OTHERS wld feel =.=
2. Even though i did wad i can to heal the wound, u wanted to make it BIGGER.
im not the one being heartless here.
i AM tinking abt how others wld feel.
i HAVE been cautious on wad i have been doin.
but no matter how HARD i try, u start appearing somewhere to make the situation worser and worser.
Dont u noe tt wad i have been doin, caused me my reputation?
so now ppl tink tt im another maniac hu LOOVVEEESSSS to banish ppl into oblivion or or a person hu LOVVEESS to put ppl down or wadever they tink abt me.-.-
i didnt care abt how others wld tink abt me as long as i solved this problem, as long as i mended the hearts of those hu were hurt.
i noe wad i have been doin hurt urs as well.
u tink i want to do tt?
if ure telling me tt in order to mend ur heart, i have to BE wif u, den lemme tell u this.
i wld rather leave URS broken den to continue breaking others' for the sake of urs.
i noe wad i have done in the past have caused all these to happen.
but pls bear this in mind, we were ONLY 10 yrs old.
i didnt noe wad i was doin.
i noe very clearly y i even wrote the letter to u.
its just becoz i was INFLUENCED by the rest.
Sure,i admit tt at tt time i DID have feelings for u.
but its all in the past now.
and its time to let go.
So here i am tellin u to LET GO.
dun say tt i didnt tell u to.
i do not want this trivial problem to become a major one.
I have said wad i wanted to say.
i noe, some were hurtful.
and even after i post this, im sure ppl(especially guys) will tink tt they wld receive this kind of post if i didnt have feelings for them anymore(if i WAS wif them).
wadever they tink, i do not care.
this post has just caused the number of ppl respecting me for hu i am, to decrease.
but im willing to let all tt happen just to clear this up.
i have sacrificed alot alreadi but still, i do not find it sufficient.
wad abt u?
when wld it be ur turn to sacrifice the things tt u love most, for the sake of others?

ps. : i tried to make this as less hurtful as possible but sry.
i just cant help myself.
everythin just started to appear itself.
i alreadi resisted the temptation to post some things which i noe i shldnt.
but this is the furthest i cld go.